Fall

Fall

I’m watching the orange tree outside my window blowing in the strong wind.  The leaves want to fall but are hanging on for dear life.  I can’t help but think of the cycle of life.  Maybe those leaves sense the cold dark season ahead.  Yet after the darkness comes the light.  

There is no greater feeling when you live up North like I do, than smelling the fresh air of Spring and seeing new life budding on trees.  It is as if I can watch that tree bloom in front of my eyes.  The significance of that bloom is not lost on me.  Another year around the Sun.  Here I am, still here.  

Do we as humans, like the leaves, hold on with a tight grip?  Or do we learn to trust and let go?  This may be the biggest lesson life has to offer.  Letting go.  I know I am not very good at this at all.  I have much head knowledge about letting go but my heart likes to hold on to my codependent patterns and fix and grovel and stay and hang on until it makes no sense.  I envy people who love and let go easily.  It must be an easier life.  

Today this tree brings me a lesson.  I know that in less than one month every leaf will be on the ground.  Every leaf will concede and let go.  It is almost sad to watch the battle of wind vs tree today.  What is the leaf holding on for?  

Letting go brings the most beautiful truth of all.  Everything is as it should be.  Because in the Spring the tree will thrive again.  Full of life.  Full of beauty.  The trick is gaining the courage and the strength to let go in the face of fear.  May we embrace the unknown.  We do not need to control all outcomes.   I am learning this slowly.  Baby steps.  

This fall I will pay close attention to the leaves outside my window and observe the struggle.  I will celebrate a little with each falling leaf knowing that this is the order of life.  Go ahead orange leaf, be free.  Thank you for the beauty that you have shared.  The joy you have brought to me.  You have served your purpose well.  Go in peace knowing that the new leaf that comes after you will live strong in the place you have left for it.  And that may give you the courage to let go. 

(Photos below were taken yesterday while writing this post and today, 1 day later when it snowed)