Boundaries. Saying NO

Boundaries, saying NO

Yes!  Sure!  Ok yeah, I’ll do it.  Why not.  Ummmm ok..   yes I’ll help you out!   This was me in my teens and 20’s.  30’s was a little more welllllll I’m super booked I don’t know… ok I’ll do it.  40’s I don’t think I can make that… 50 (notice no plural because I am 50, not in my 50’s and hanging on!) the answer is no.  that’s it. No explanation.  Not gonna justify.  No.  I have nailed this now.  

EXCEPT!  

When it comes to my kids.  In my home, generally no means start begging.  Beg until she says yes.  Because it does happen.  Every.  Single.  Time.  

Last week we had a family therapy session where our therapist told me, do you know if you never say no to your daughter she will never learn to say no in her own life?  Huh??   She has to experience and work through that kind of rejection.   Gotcha!  

I mean, I say no every day.  No I don’t feel like working out.  No I am not gonna watch my calories.  No I don’t feel like finishing that project tonight.  Why is it our human nature to say yes to what is better to say no to and we say no to what serves us best.  

Let your yes be yes and let your no be no.  But please let my yesses and no’s be the ones that most serve me.   

Note:  Looking for pics of my kiddos together was almost impossible… another indication of how they have the ability to say no to me even though it is hard for me to say no.. every time i ask for photos together they say no so here is what i have ..